July 5^th, 2025: Day Thirty-One

Distance Travelled: 854KM
Distance From Home: 3416KM
Days in Hotels VS Campgrounds VS Guest: 13/14/3

Levis, Quebec –
Mississauga, Ontario

As much as I was not totally sure about leaving Quebec City, I did it. While I was driving away, I tried to visualize myself a couple years down the road, already having gone back by car or plane, and glad that I had made better plans.

I’m exhausted and have seen so much and am not going to get everything in one go so I should probably start picking my final adventures for this trip more carefully. I planned to get to Toronto in one day even though I was going to have to put in some serious driving time. May as well get used to it as I only have a couple of stops left.

I grabbed a Quebec mug and made some final attempts at a car sticker with no luck. I’m just going to have to order it on Amazon.

I let Uncle Glen know I’d be in town between 3:00PM and 3:30PM, and I had a good ride. It was nice gassing up in Ontario (where I picked up my second Starbucks mug for the day) and saw a gas price 25 cents less than Quebec.

I arrived on the 407ETR at the beginning of rush hour but this was my second time on GTA highways, so I was prepared and I also happen to think it’s an efficient system and am comfortable on these roads. So far anyway.

When I got there, there was a sign on the door saying they were in the backyard and to come around. There was Aunt Jody, Uncle Glen, Cousin Brent and Uncle Ray. Soon to follow was cousin Jackie, her daughter Lara, her husband John, and then sometime later Aunt Phyllis came too.

All for me. It felt good. I hadn’t had a shower in thirty-six hours and just spent nine on the road but it was great. I drank, I told them about my time, I even swam, which is a rare thing for me.

Later that night I would have a debate with Uncle Glen over my strained, nearly nonexistent relationship with my Father. From what I hear he messaged him about me and in regards to coming to see them he said, “what does he want?” as if I had come to leech. He defended me and said that “he’s coming to see his Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins.” As in “fuck off” but despite that exchange, I found him defending my father’s actions or excusing them.

I slept great, though my blood glucose needs a flush real bad. I have been neglecting that part and look forward to getting back on track when I return to Calgary.

I’m really glad to be here and I feel loved. I don’t feel like a burden.

July 6^th, 2025: Day Thirty-Two

Distance Travelled: around town
Distance From Home: same
Days in Hotels VS Campgrounds VS Guest: 13/14/4

Not much of a hangover this morning but I still had one. Gone pretty quick though. It was nice to be able to sleep in until 9am, at least three hours more than normal.

I had a great one-on-one with Aunt Jody and was informed, by accident really, that my Mother was in an old folks home. I told her much of what I told Glen, and she told me about the early years with my mother here. I felt validated.

I hit up Canadian Tire for car cleaning supplies and new wipers. The wipers didn’t seem to fit at first but they are snug. I want to a car wash later and finally got the tires clean using foam cleaner and rags.

I played with Jackie’s daughter in the pool for hours and burnt my shoulders really bad. Jody said I would make a good father. It’s bitter sweet, because there will always be a part of me that wonders what it would be like. I see the way that Nanni is taken care of and how all the love she gave when her boys were growing up is being given back to her in her twilight years. I wonder who will be there for me when I am infirm, and the answer is likely a paid nurse, or no one. I think Sarah and I are going to have to have some serious talks about what we’ll do to secure ourselves when we’re old/falling apart and be comfortable with that plan….the both of us.

July 7^th, 2025: Day Thirty-Three

Days in Hotels VS Campgrounds VS Guest: 13/14/5

Despite having two sun scorched shoulders, I slept really well. I thought it might be a good idea to get my car inspected so I went down to an auto mall on Dundas Street after getting Starbucks, but they did not have Subaru listed on their car maker’s sign. I figured I can probably wait until I get home to have the Kryptatron looked at, and then that won’t cut into my budget while I am away.

Because I was sun burnt the order of business today was to stay indoors. I went online and made a list of things I wanted to do while I was here and then I took care of priority one: seeing Nanni again. Uncle Glen and I took separate cars in case I wanted to go off and do something on my own afterwards and while I was driving down I almost got side swiped. My lane was ending, and I went to change lanes. Someone was coming hard and fast into me. I leaned on the horn hard and usually there is a jerk from the other vehicle before deciding “fuck you” I’m going anyway. There was no response whatsoever. When I pulled up next to them at the light, they were completely oblivious to my absolute rage. When I came here in 2003 and stayed at a music promoters house, he kept a handful of pennies in his ash tray to throw at pushy taxi drivers and suddenly I wanted to go to the bank for a roll of coins because my only option this time was to throw my drink at him, and that would have been a double loss for me.

Nanni was in the same seat as when I saw her last time. We would talk for hours. I stayed long after Uncle Glen left, and I think we covered a lot of ground.

Most importantly we talked about my Father, and I gave her the boiled down, Reader’s Digest version of why we’re not talking.

[redacted]

It’s plain to see that strife runs in the family. I’ve only had bits and pieces of what was involved in the other no-contact situations, getting info from multiple sources. I don’t know if any of the others involved abuse, but I can’t say 100% either way.

She asked me if I wanted anything from the house, and I told her I can’t do that while she’s still “here”. She told me that Brent said the same thing. That it brought him to tears. To me that’s like pulling the organ donation out of them before they’re done using it.

We also discussed my Mother, and how she never liked her, and my grandmother (my mom’s mom) who she also didn’t care for.

She talked at length about who she called “the love of her life” and that wasn’t my Papa, but a man whom she dated for nine years before his untimely death. How they met, their first date, his morals, and she showed me a plastic rose in a glass case, very much like Beauty and the Beast. I guess he wasn’t partial to the idea of using live flowers. Nanni said she’s to be buried with this and a photo of him, which was on the organ player in the room.

It’s hard hearing all this. These are the last talks we will…I can’t even type it. They may not be, but it’s not like she’s out every day making new core memories. I know her mind is just starting to go too. She had forgotten how many kids cousin Aylish had and referred to Papa as my uncle at one point.

I told her I wanted to beat rush hour, but I would be back to see her before I left. We hugged and she planted several kisses on my cheek. I told her I loved her and said it again when I was at the door.

I need to figure out how long I want to be here because it’s getting down to the wire. The countdown app on my phone says I need to be back in fifteen days to give myself two days to relax before the Terminus festival. Let’s break down, in reverse, how much time I need to spend in each city.

Calgary	1	July 22nd
Grasslands, Saskatoon	1	July 21st
Winnipeg (or equivalent)	1	July 20th
Fort Frances	3	July 17th to 19th
Rural Ontario	3-4	July 13th to 18th
Mississauga	5+	leaving July 12th

So, to ensure I am not rushing home like a madman, I need to leave at the latest July 13^th, on Sunday. I have twelve things on my to-do to-see list. That means I’ll need to hit two or three a day to get them all done. I may focus on the touristy stuff first to give my skin a rest.

July 8^th, 2025: Day Thirty-Four

Days in Hotels VS Campgrounds VS Guest: 13/14/6

I hit 10,000 Kilometers today. I was wondering what the car’s trip meter would do. Would it show 10k, or roll over back to zero. Unceremoniously it did the latter.

I was determined to be productive. As I mentioned yesterday, I had a bunch of things on my list and a certain amount of days to complete them.

The TV Museum wasn’t open until 2PM and Fort York isn’t open until tomorrow, so I started with the Aquarium. This was my first time driving into Toronto’s heart. An intimidating but good experience, unlike Ottawa. I pulled over at the aquarium to search Google for parking then accidentally found some when I turned the corner. Underground and expensive, it was $6 for every thirty minutes and would be rounded to $18 when I left.

I noticed there was a strike for the CN Tower, which was right next to the aquarium, and it made me wonder If I should go to the top of it this time around. I mean, if there is anything I have seen, it’s the top of the CN Tower. 1985, 1989, 1997, 2004, and 2010.

There was a line of tourist buses in front, but it wasn’t until I got in that it donned on me that it was going to be stupid busy. Now I’ve said this before. I’m not big on museum stuff, because it involves a lot of standing and reading something while someone behind you stands and waits for you to move. And I rarely take photos because of how contrived it is. Between that and the crowd I didn’t have the greatest time at first, and after paying $56 for admission I was determined to make it at least somewhat worth it. There were two portions of it though that I loved. The first was this area where everyone went on some Jetson’s-like walkway and it was a massive aquarium that enveloped you with sharks and other stuff in it. Amazing, immersive and incredible to see them so up close. I used my Meta glasses to capture some video.

The second was the Jellyfish tanks. These things are aliens, and you can’t tell me otherwise. I have no idea how they work, you can see right through them!

When I got out the strike was still going strong, and they were playing some “shame on the CN tower” song which I’m sure was AI…unless it was live but I didn’t see anyone performing.

My next stop was The Kensington Market. It was overcast so I didn’t have to worry as much about being burnt again and yep, I actually wore my hat today.

When I got there, I almost gave up on finding a parking spot but I got one, and when the parking terminal wouldn’t take my info I downloaded the app and paid that way. I was about ten minutes away, but it was a win for me. I took a picture of the building I parked next to, the “North Borden Building” of the University of Toronto, so I could Google my way back before heading to the market.

I could spend weeks in this part of Toronto, and years in downtown and not capture everything. There is so much life and diversity here. I saw so many different cultures, and types of people and different fashions. Man, the different types of outfits people wore. I really didn’t have anything to worry about with my hat. I went to work with my camera and was surprised at myself at how at ease I was. Being on the road now for almost five weeks has calmed me down quite a bit. I didn’t panic when I saw the crowd at the aquarium, I just internally groaned. I didn’t lose my breath when I got here either. Of course, I was nervous but prepared. From all the experiences that came before, the good and the bad.

In the end I got some amazing photos that not only showcase the market and its incredible visuals, but my progress as a person and photographer since I started this pilgrimage.

My last stop of the day was the MZTV Television Museum. It wasn’t anything Earth shattering and I was probably in and out in thirty minutes, but I enjoyed it and I am glad I went. Today was an expensive day. Over $100 easy, plus I decided to get a Starbucks Toronto mug with my usual order, breaking my “Provence only” rule. I figured I’d earned it, as I had spent more time here than anywhere else.

I’ve been thinking about the trip back and the stops along the way and I need to brainstorm again on what my timeline should be. Working forwards this time.

Leaving Mississauga TO Fort Frances	1712 KM	2 days
Staying in Fort Frances	0KM	3 days
Fort Frances TO Calgary	1773KM	2 days
Total Days: 7	3485KM

To Arrive on July 22^nd I must leave no later than the 15^th

If I leave on July 13^th as planned yesterday, I will arrive home on July 20^th

I am eager to get home and don’t want to upset my Achilles until I know what the deal is with it.